What Is Love? Pt. 2

My boyfriend and I had the following conversation last night:

I’ve spent most of today thinking about what love means to me. I’ve come to believe love is circular in many ways. Think about it for a moment…

A wedding band is a never ending circle demonstrating the emotional bond between two people. Love is two hearts sharing a single beat. Does your heart skip a beat when you look at your significant other? Mine does. Perhaps it’s my heartbeat syncing with his as I fall in love.

Love can be symbolized in many ways. It is often seen in the form of a heart. When love, we’re supposed to love with all our heart, right? The symbolism of the heart equating to love began in the 15th century. It’s a great way to write love. Red roses also represent love.

For me, after much thought, love is more of a demonstration rather than the verbal or written word. My boyfriend shows me his love (maybe I shouldn’t use that word just yet in regards to him yet) by doing little things for me. He holds my hand when we walk through a store or at the movies. He holds me when I need to be held, without even saying a word. He came to see me this past weekend after the horrible week I had. I didn’t ask him to but he knew I needed to feel how much he genuinely cares for me.

He’s filled my gas tank on more than one occasion. That demonstrated so much of how he feels about me. Case in point – I drove nearly everywhere and my ex never once offered to pay for gas. Not even for the 45 minute one way drive to pick up his ex-stepdaughter. Sad.

Gifts from the heart are great for birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas but they don’t truly symbolize what love is. Material goods are not a replacement for real love.

Actions speak louder than words. The same goes for love. Anyone can say the words. They’re just words. Do they have meaning? Yes. When said at the right time and in the right context, those three little words have a powerful impact on its recipient.

Love is a very strong emotion. It is possible to love unconditionally. I mean more than just your child.

Love is the ability to give all of yourself, every fiber of your being to another person. It is the internal swelling of your heart when you look at him. It is in the way you kiss – kissing him like you miss him, even when he was simply in the next room. It’s resting your head on his shoulder and holding his hand while watching television.

It is communication. It is finding the words to lift each other up, especially during arguments. It is being supportive during hard times. It is finding the time to just be imperfect together. Nobody is perfect.

Love is a learning process.

It is the process of two hearts becoming one.

Holiday Seasonings and Tinsel

Christmas typically is not a fun time for me. I relate more to Ebeneezer Scrooge than Bernard the head elf. Speaking of elves, I truly despise that creepy Elf on a Shelf thing. It reminds me of clowns, which I do not cope with very well.  There are very few clowns in this house; one of which belonged to Roger’s father.  That particular one can stay for its sentimental value.  I also do not believe that children should have to worry about their behaviors because a ridiculous toy “will tell Santa if they are naughty or nice”. If your child requires this thing in order to produce positive behaviors, then perhaps you should examine your parenting skills. <cue the bashing for parenting skills comment>.

Please allow me a moment to reminisce of Christmas one year ago.  It was a fabulous time! I’m not sure I had placed that much enjoyment in a whimsical holiday before. It was a very special Christmas as it was my first with Roger and the kids. This year is not much different than last.  It is one of the few times I’ve truly gotten into some degree of Christmas spirit. I really enjoyed spending time with the kids and shopping. I put a lot of thought into gifts this year and I have a plan for Christmas next year. Eh, maybe we can decorate a palm tree instead of a pine tree. New Year’s is always fun at Disneyland!  I truly hope I’ve done well with gifting this year.  Trystan is getting exactly what he asked Santa for, Mya is getting the same, and Cassandra is getting a lump of coal.  Teenagers.  Anybody want mine?  Actually, as far as teenagers go, she IS a good kid and I love her. I love all three of them very much.

I bought Roger’s gift a while back.  He is getting…  NOPE!  Not telling YOU!  Because then you will tell him and I don’t want any grief about the lack of funds I spent on him.  I just hope he likes socks and underwear.

I still have to get something for Ginger.  BarkBox just won’t cut it this year. Besides, she doesn’t play with the toys she’s already got.  Maybe some bacon and a jar of peanut butter.

The only people I have not shopped for is my niece and my mother.  Unfortunately, I have to extend the Christmas season into January. Not like it’s an issue for some; I don’t mind giving gifts all year round. Receiving gifts are not my primary love language.  Ahhh… Love languages. That is a blog idea for another time.

Church was good today.  The kids program was so cute! I’m proud of my two youngest as they said their lines and sang the songs. After they were done, all three of the kids got Christmas presents handed out by the pastor and his wife. Candy bags were handed out to everyone as well.

Most of the gifts are wrapped.  Stockings have been stuffed and are just waiting to be put on display.

My feelings about this new Christmas are explainable.  God’s in charge and I can feel His power.  The emotions on my face match what is my heart.  It’s different. I’m not 100% sure of what to make of it.  For the most part, I’m rolling with it.  I am learning how to be okay with how I feel.  It’s being open that I’m struggling with.  Work in progress.  Just keep reminding me that I’m a work in progress.  God is in control and He is good. God is my tinsel.

How many more days until Christmas?