What Is Love? Pt. 2

My boyfriend and I had the following conversation last night:

I’ve spent most of today thinking about what love means to me. I’ve come to believe love is circular in many ways. Think about it for a moment…

A wedding band is a never ending circle demonstrating the emotional bond between two people. Love is two hearts sharing a single beat. Does your heart skip a beat when you look at your significant other? Mine does. Perhaps it’s my heartbeat syncing with his as I fall in love.

Love can be symbolized in many ways. It is often seen in the form of a heart. When love, we’re supposed to love with all our heart, right? The symbolism of the heart equating to love began in the 15th century. It’s a great way to write love. Red roses also represent love.

For me, after much thought, love is more of a demonstration rather than the verbal or written word. My boyfriend shows me his love (maybe I shouldn’t use that word just yet in regards to him yet) by doing little things for me. He holds my hand when we walk through a store or at the movies. He holds me when I need to be held, without even saying a word. He came to see me this past weekend after the horrible week I had. I didn’t ask him to but he knew I needed to feel how much he genuinely cares for me.

He’s filled my gas tank on more than one occasion. That demonstrated so much of how he feels about me. Case in point – I drove nearly everywhere and my ex never once offered to pay for gas. Not even for the 45 minute one way drive to pick up his ex-stepdaughter. Sad.

Gifts from the heart are great for birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas but they don’t truly symbolize what love is. Material goods are not a replacement for real love.

Actions speak louder than words. The same goes for love. Anyone can say the words. They’re just words. Do they have meaning? Yes. When said at the right time and in the right context, those three little words have a powerful impact on its recipient.

Love is a very strong emotion. It is possible to love unconditionally. I mean more than just your child.

Love is the ability to give all of yourself, every fiber of your being to another person. It is the internal swelling of your heart when you look at him. It is in the way you kiss – kissing him like you miss him, even when he was simply in the next room. It’s resting your head on his shoulder and holding his hand while watching television.

It is communication. It is finding the words to lift each other up, especially during arguments. It is being supportive during hard times. It is finding the time to just be imperfect together. Nobody is perfect.

Love is a learning process.

It is the process of two hearts becoming one.

He Sees Me

The darkness has turned to light

The cup of joy overflows into a river of happiness long overdue

Tides of a ripple effect, washes over my heart

He sees me

The whole of my heart, bathed in light

His care is for me alone, as I walk with trepidation for the new-founded love

He sees me

Unabridged, unedited, raw with hidden emotions and an unbridled yearning

My heart has waited, patiently, to feel the strength of a single beat in unison

He sees me, for all that I am

He sees me, for who I am and what I will become

He sees me

Two Types of Men

Actually, I have three classifications for the male species – boys, guys, and men.

Oh little boys and their games! Very few males have integrity. Those who do, are definitely not in this category. Boys have an agenda. It may not be prevalent at first, but it does come out eventually.

C’mon, ladies… you all know the agenda I’m referring to.

The SEX agenda.

Boys, don’t get me wrong. I’m sure I like sex as much as Jenna Jameson. However, it’s not a priority. Relationships based upon sex never last. Been there, done that, cupcake. If you’re with someone but still looking around the forest, you’ve missed the rose.

I recently met someone on a social media platform. In order for someone to be real to me, I have to talk to you on the phone. Pictures mean nothing. I digress.

With this boy and our conversations, something was amiss. I questioned everything he said. He said he was in the military. His uniform didn’t look right. I had my friends who actually are in the service, verify the inaccuracies. I asked him to take a specific photo for me, at the suggestion of some police family members. He refused and his response was “I’m the man in this relationship. I don’t have to obey you.” No way. I will not allow anyone to talk to me like that. It’s very disrespectful!

I continued to talk to him because I wanted to find the truth in his bullshit.

I asked him repeatedly to call me. The excuses came. They were consistent excuses but lies nonetheless. According to the story, he dropped his phone and the microphone was broken. He needed $300 to fix it. He didn’t ask me for the money. I feel sorry for whomever he did ask. Yesterday, he called me through Facebook Messenger. That phone call was very short.

I have a very low tolerance for lies from boys.

He prefaced his call with “I have an accent. You know I’m not Caucasian, right?”

I’m sorry but if you’re born in the United States, especially if you say you’re from Nebraska, I expect you to have a midwestern accent.

The boy sounded black and from Africa! There was no way this was him:

If anyone who reads this knows who this picture really belongs to, please let me know! The person who sent me this picture isn’t the person who called me. HUGE DIFFERENCE!

My final, parting words to this boy were as follows:

1) you told me your dad was Mexican and your mom “American”. If you had been born in the States with that heritage, you would NEVER say someone is Caucasian. That person is “white”. 2) I asked you a few times not to call me “babe” or “baby”. You have continued to do so. 3) I have spent the last 20 years investigating military scammers.

Ok, so that last part about being an investigator I made up. I was pissed that he thought I was naive and gullible! I’m a woman. Women can smell that funk a mile away.

Now, onto Guys. The male species is placed here until they have been proven they belong in one of the other categories. We are most definitely friends in this conjunction.

Men… oh my! Men blow my mind! Real men, that is.

I went on a date Saturday night. I was floored. Sammy can tell you that’s hard to do and he’s never seen it in the 15+ years he’s known me.

He greeted me with a hug. He let me order in Spanish without making fun of me. He held the door open for me. He held my hand. We talked about so many things! Completely respectful! He did steal a kiss too. Okay, maybe a lot of kisses! I’m not complaining! It was one of the best nights I’ve had in over 10 years. There wasn’t even long stares at a cellphone. I was able to look into his eyes and see his smile for me. Everything about him was genuine and respectful. Nothing was off limits for conversation topics and we did talk about sex. It was not a priority conversation though.

I don’t keep secrets very well. My parents know everything. When I saw them after this date, I flat out said “I haven’t been on a date with a real man in a very long time.” They could see I was a bit shaken by that concept. Real men do still exist.

My heart was melting. The Ice Queen was thawing. I would love nothing more than to see him again.

I’m still in a state of awe. I have nothing but respect for men like him. There were no pretenses, pressure, or games. Raw honesty. No hidden agenda. Real men don’t waste time playing games. I was comfortable with him.

These are just my general opinions.

**Side note: I love our military. I support the military. It breaks my heart to see someone use the military as a cover for scamming innocent people. Our service members do something that many of us don’t even think about – they are willing to die for every American. I pray daily that God keeps the men and women of our Armed Forces safe and bring them home quickly. Love to you all!

Best Friend

I have two female best friends. I can share anything with my girls.

Allie lives a state away. I’ve know this amazingly awesome chick for 35 years. She is notorious for calling bullshit if something is fishy in my life. If I’m smelling the stink, I tell her first. She’s got my back in a heartbeat. I keep trying to tell her she needs to leave that state. Men there are nothing more than little boys. Children. Ugh. She’s about to be the sexiest grandma I know. Wait!!! She’s only 44, so she’s pretty young (younger than me anyways). When we are together, it’s a whirlwind of madness, chaos, and mayhem. Party, anyone? I appreciate that she and I get girl time when we can. We aren’t afraid to sit in the front row, beat on the glass, and slug a couple of beers during a Red Wings game (put that on your agenda, Allie). Girl, we have been through some serious stuff over the last 35 years. None of it, and I mean NONE OF IT, has killed us! Take that, life!

BonBon is my “little sister”. Our bond was tight right from the start. I haven’t known her as long as I have Allie but we’ve been through some short-term hell. I’ve watched the heartache she’s gone through and my heart has died for her pain. I wish I was still in CA for her. I miss my nieces and nephew.

Both of these wonderful women are my “ride or die” chicks. I’d go to the ends of the earth to find their happiness, all the while foregoing my own. They deserve this.

What I would love nothing more is to find my male partner in crime. A man strong enough to stand up to me while making me his equal. A man that will let me cry on his shoulders when I have no clue why I’m crying. A man who will wake up kissing me. A man who says “hey, can you afford to skip work” and we go on a one-day road trip to anywhere the road takes us. A man who will kiss me as soon as we’re home from our long days. A man who will “borrow” my car just to fill up the take.

A man that I can tell anything to yet understands when I shut down because I can’t find the words to express the overwhelming turmoil in my brain. And when I have a meltdown, he will just hold me until our world is calm. A man who wants to explore the world with me. A man who will kiss me to shut me up and make me forget what we were arguing about.

A man who will love God more than he loves me.

This man will be my world. He will have my heart, my devotion, my complete, unconditional love. He would be the air I breathe, very much like my girls. I won’t suffocate the relationship but when he needs me, I’ll be there.

He needs to be my best friend before anything else. He’ll get the whole of me.

Living the Single Life

There are a lot of advantages to being single, especially when the breakup was ugly and difficult.

My favorite advantage is that I don’t have to have a spotless house. If you come over and I’m still in my pajamas, I could careless. I hope you are here to see me and not my sink full of dishes or my over-flowing laundry basket.

I cannot be mad at anyone for the mess. I make the mess so I’m responsible for it. Do you really think I’m going to yell at myself for not cleaning up? Doubtful!

Oh! I don’t have to wear pajamas to bed. I can get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and nobody would see anything! Well that’s because there isn’t anyone here and I’m single!

Alicia says, “single and ready to mingle”. Thank you, but no. There is not one single man in this state that I would care to spend time with. I mean other than my Dad and well, Bo is still very much a boy. He’s also my shadow when I visit my parents.

(See my feet? I nearly fell down the stairs when he followed up behind me!)

I can keep chocolate in the freezer for weeks at a time and it will still be there at crucial moments.

If I’m not working, I can get up when I want. There’s no time schedule for me. If I forget to go to the grocery store for almond milk (yes, I am lactose-intolerant), it’s perfectly fine!

If I ignore the fuzzy stuff on my legs, it’s OKAY! Actually, I have to do the girlie stuff regularly otherwise it makes me crazy. But still, it’s not like I have a boyfriend or anything so it’s one less worry.

If a single woman farts in her living room and there’s no man to hear, does it make a sound?

If I feel the need to have a major cry-fest, I can put on a Sandra Bullock or that movie with the blonde and that Gosling dude. There wouldn’t be anyone to hear me blubber. Wait, who am I kidding? I’m more likely to put on a Fast & Furious movie and cry when Vin Diesel crashes that gorgeous 1968 Pontiac GTO. Man! Talk about living life one-quarter of a mile at a time!

What else can I do since I’m single? Oh!

I’m going zip lining for my birthday! Yeppers! I’m flying solo for some fun! Maybe I’ll treat myself to a steak dinner or something I rarely do. Depends upon where I go zip lining, I guess.

I can sing and dance in my living room at the top of my lungs. Off-key and out of tempo if I so choose.

I don’t have to look my best because, honestly. At my age who do I have to impress? Yeah, didn’t think so.

I do t have to explain who my friends are. If I want to meet Maria at Applebee’s after work, I don’t have to explain that to anyone. (Nobody should ever have to go to Applebee’s alone!)

(I didn’t create the meme so I’m not responsible for the bad grammar.)

I’m sure there are more things I could add to this list. I digress at this time.

What are some of the things you enjoy about single life?