A Simple Bit of Tolerance

My tolerance level for bullshit, drama, and lies has reached an all-time low. I gave up playing games a long time ago. Now the only games I enjoy are board games, like Cards Against Humanity and Clue. I will hop on the Wii everyone once in a while and playing Guitar Hero with my young friend Justin. That kid can play the plastic guitar all night!

However, there seem to be people in my life who thrive on f***ing with others. I know I can be evil. There is evil in all of us. It’s what we cultivate our energy into that can change the source of that evilness. What am I capable of? Well, if you go back to one of my first posts on here, you will see that I had been so evil that I sunk to an all-time low. So low that I checked into a mental facility that same night. Yes, that bad. I never want to get to that point again.

There are times when I feel I should go to the hospital. Mainly it’s because I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown and people keep standing on the one nerve I have left. I’ve been off meds since January and my doctors have said that I don’t needs them anymore. That could very well be true. I felt foggy on them sometimes. Perhaps, in hindsight, they did help for a short while. I’ve just been so agitated lately. I definitely have lost my filter. I’ve been very snappy and short with everyone. I want to be narcissistic and blame it on everyone else but that just isn’t my style anymore. Being narcissistic in my twenties was all fine and dandy but I’ve grown up a lot since then.

My insecurities haven’t changed though. I’ve just gotten better at hiding them from others. I will show you what I think you need to see when I chose to show you. Call it whatever you want. Call me a liar if it makes you feel better then. Do whatever you need to do in order to feel like you’re a decent human being. Just don’t expect me to actually lie simply because you’ve made it seem that way. I have zero tolerance for the deception. Just because you have been given a 1000 piece puzzle with 400 pieces missing does not make me a liar. It makes you a nosy punk who thinks they are entitled to have their head up my ass. It also means that you are not privileged enough in my life to know the details of my life.

I don’t trust very many people. I learned a long time ago a that there are a select free that can be branded as trustworthy.

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I’m a cultured, big-city girl living in a small-town world. Being single is new to me and it’s afforded some opportunities that I never would have expected. My life is in God’s hands as He carries me. I’m so looking forward to wherever God takes me next. He’s in charge!

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